英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)

時(shí)間：2025-12-03 15:20:59 好文我要投稿

英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)集錦15篇

英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)1

　　When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.

英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)集錦15篇

　　Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for me to read the printer's directions and try the job myself.

　　Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"

　　"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to repair things themselves first."

　　由于我的打印機(jī)不能打印出清晰的字來(lái)，我就打電話(huà)給維修部。電話(huà)是一位非常和藹的男人接的，他說(shuō)我的.打印機(jī)也許只是需要清理一下。

　　他還說(shuō)，如果讓維修部清理的話(huà)要交50英鎊的清理費(fèi)，讓我最好看看使用手冊(cè)自己試著清理。

　　當(dāng)時(shí)我真的被他的話(huà)感動(dòng)了，就問(wèn)他：“你們老板知道你這樣拒絕生意么？”

　　“事實(shí)上，這就是我們老板的主意，”雇員答道：“因?yàn)槿绻覀冏層脩?hù)先自行修理打印機(jī)的話(huà)就能掙更多的錢(qián)�！�

英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)2

　　My husband was showing a box of his baby things，which had been saved for him by his mother to our five-year-old son. He took out a pair of bronzed baby shoes

　　mounted with an ashtray between them.”O(jiān)h, look,Chris,"he said. "These are Daddy's first walking shoes.“

　　一次，我丈夫拿出一個(gè)盒子給我們五歲的兒子看。這個(gè)盒子是由他母親替他收藏的'他兒時(shí)的用品盒。我丈夫從盒子里取出一雙中間還夾有煙缸的古銅色的童鞋說(shuō):“噢，克瑞斯，你看，這就是爸爸學(xué)走步時(shí)穿的鞋�！�

　　Chris stared in amazement. "Daddy,"he said，”I don't see how you ever learned to walk with that ashtray stuck between your feet.”

　　克瑞斯吃驚地望著那雙鞋，“爸爸，”他說(shuō):“我怎么就不知道你還學(xué)過(guò)兩腳夾煙灰缸走路呢�！�

英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)3

　　excuse for speeding

　　趕緊到達(dá)那里

　　harry and lloyd were speeding down the road. a police car pulled them over.

　　哈里與勞埃德超速行駛，一輛警車(chē)攔住了他們。

　　"why on earth were you driving so fast?" the policeman yelled.

　　“你們?yōu)槭裁撮_(kāi)那么快?”警官喊道。

　　"our brakes are no good, so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!

　　“我們的剎車(chē)不好，因此我們想在發(fā)生事故前趕緊到達(dá)目的地。”

英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)4

　　What are the Two Words?

　　A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?

　　Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?

　　是哪兩個(gè)詞？

　　一個(gè)非常和藹的老夫人有幾句話(huà)要對(duì)她的孫女說(shuō)。我親愛(ài)的，老夫人說(shuō)，我希望你能幫我一個(gè)忙。我要你答應(yīng)永遠(yuǎn)不要用兩個(gè)詞，一個(gè)是“討厭的'”，另一個(gè)是“極好的”。你能答應(yīng)我嗎？

　　噢，當(dāng)然，奶奶。女孩說(shuō)：是哪兩個(gè)詞？

英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)5

　　Story 18 Who Pours Ink on My Chair? Donny is a seven year old boy. He goes to school every day. The school is near his home. So he goes there on foot and comes back home on time. But today, he is late. His mother asks him, “Why do you go to the headmaster’s office?” “Because the teacher asks us a question in class and nobody can answer it, but I can.” “It’s good to answer the teacher’s question.” “But the question is ‘Who pours ink on my chair?’”

英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)6

　　While the doctor was looking over the man, his wife kept fussing(煩躁，發(fā)牢騷) andjabbering(快而含糊地說(shuō)) all the time. The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet." Then he left some sleeping pills.

　　The man's wife asked, "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied, "No, they are not for him. They are for you. You need them."

　　有個(gè)人生病了。他的妻子請(qǐng)了一位醫(yī)生來(lái)給他治病。

　　醫(yī)生在給他治療的時(shí)候，他的妻子一直大驚小怪，神神叨叨地緊張不安。醫(yī)生對(duì)她說(shuō)：“你的`丈夫必須絕對(duì)休息和保持安靜�！� 然后他就留下了一些。

　　她問(wèn)醫(yī)生：“什么時(shí)候給我丈夫吃這些藥呀!”醫(yī)生回答說(shuō)：“不用，這些藥不是給他吃的，是給你吃的，你需要�！�

英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)7

　　One day a man came home from work to find total chaos in the house. The kids were laying outside in the mud, still in their pajamas.

　　When he opened the door, he found an even bigger mess: dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table and a pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys, and a lamp had been knocked over.

　　He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she might be ill or that something terrible had happened to her.

　　He found her in the bedroom still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a magazine.

　　She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day had gone.

　　He looked at her, bewildered(困惑的), and asked, "What happened here today?"

　　She again smiled and answered, "You know, every day, you come home from work and ask me what I did today."

　　"Yes," was his reply.

　　She answered, "Well, today, I didn't do it!"

　　一天，一個(gè)人下班回到家，發(fā)現(xiàn)屋子外面一片狼籍。孩子們還穿著睡衣，滿(mǎn)身是泥地躺在外面。

　　打開(kāi)房門(mén)，他發(fā)現(xiàn)屋子里面更亂。櫥柜上堆著盤(pán)子，地上散落著狗食，桌子下面有一只打碎的玻璃杯，后門(mén)旁還有一堆沙子。家庭娛樂(lè)室里堆滿(mǎn)了玩具，還有一盞燈翻倒在地上。

　　他邁過(guò)散落在樓梯上的.玩具，上樓去找他的妻子。他開(kāi)始擔(dān)心她生病了或是發(fā)生了什么可怕的事情。

　　他發(fā)現(xiàn)她還穿著睡衣躺在床上，在看一本雜志。

　　她抬頭看到他，笑著問(wèn)他今天過(guò)得怎么樣。

　　他看著她，困惑地問(wèn)：“今天發(fā)生什么事情了?”

　　她笑著問(wèn)道：“你每天下班回家都會(huì)問(wèn)我今天做什么了�！�

　　“沒(méi)錯(cuò)啊，”他說(shuō)。

　　她說(shuō)：“是這樣的，今天，我沒(méi)做什么!”

英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)8

　　Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics？” Father（a veteran politician）：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one．”

　　Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours？” Father：“A convert，my son．”

　　有希望的青年人：“父親，什么叫政治叛徒？” 父親（一位老資格的政治家）：“叛徒指的.是離開(kāi)我們黨而加入到另一個(gè)黨的人�！� 有希望的青年人：“那么，離開(kāi)他的黨而加入到我們黨的人又叫什么呢？” 父親：“叫改變信仰者。我的兒子�！�

英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)9

　　"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying."

　　"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any."

　　"But has he finished his own cake?"

　　"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."

　　"湯姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 媽媽在廚房里問(wèn)。"他在哭。"

　　"沒(méi)事兒，媽媽?zhuān)? 湯姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因?yàn)槲也唤o他吃。"

　　"他已經(jīng)吃完自己的了么？"

　　"是的'。" "我?guī)退酝陼r(shí)，他也哭了。"

英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)10

　　Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?

　　Tom: Every month.

　　爸爸：告訴我湯姆，哪個(gè)月有28天呢？

　　湯姆：每個(gè)月都有��！

英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)11

　　Put your feet in把腳放進(jìn)去

　　The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle ,and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. "Mary !" called the teacher sharply. "Yes,Madam?" questioned the pupil , "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"

　　一個(gè)女學(xué)生坐在座位上，嘴里起勁地嚼著口香糖，腳卻伸到課桌間的走道里，被老師發(fā)現(xiàn)了。“瑪麗!”老師嚴(yán)厲地叫她。“什么事，老師?”這女學(xué)生問(wèn)。“把口香糖從嘴里拿出來(lái)，把腳放進(jìn)去�！�

英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)12

　　GroundRules OneofmyfavoriteteachersatSoutheastMissouriStateUniversityinCapeGirardeauwasknownofhisdrollsenseofhumor.Explaininghisgroundrulestoonefreshmanclass,hesaid,"NowIknowmylecturescanoftenbedryandboring,soIdon‘tmindifyoulookatyourwatchesduringclass.Ido,however,objecttoyourpoundingthemonthedesktomakesurethey‘restillrunning."

　　基本原則

　　位于吉拉多海角的密蘇里東南州立大學(xué)有一位我非常喜歡的.老師，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在對(duì)一個(gè)新生班級(jí)講解他的基本原則時(shí)，他說(shuō)：“我知道我的講課可能經(jīng)常會(huì)枯燥乏味，了無(wú)生趣，所以如果你們?cè)谏险n時(shí)看表我并不介意。不過(guò)我堅(jiān)決反對(duì)你們將表在課桌上猛敲看它們是不是還在走。”

英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)13

　　Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.

　　Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!

　　弗蘭克叔叔七十八歲了，富有而健康。他是個(gè)終生單身漢。他曾追求過(guò)很多女孩，但“從不過(guò)熱----見(jiàn)好就收”。一天他突發(fā)奇想，決定四處走走，去看看他那些接近一打的舊時(shí)女友。

　　他回來(lái)即嘆道：“噓！謝天謝地幸虧我沒(méi)娶那些女人中的任何一個(gè)。如今她們都成寡婦了！”

英語(yǔ)小笑話(huà)14

　　after friends of mine landed at busy newwark airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. in desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.

　　我的朋友們?cè)诜泵Φ募~瓦克機(jī)場(chǎng)著陸后，他們卻不能招呼到腳夫來(lái)幫他們搬行李。無(wú)奈，丈夫拿出一張五美元的鈔票在人群上面搖晃。

　　in an instant, a skycap was at his side. sir, observed the porter, you certainly have excellent communication skills.

　　一個(gè)帶寬邊帽的.人馬上來(lái)到他身邊�！跋壬蹦_夫說(shuō)道，“很明顯你有絕妙的交際技巧�！�